Pride --> Anxiety --> Discouragement --> Peace

I'm out of time. Today I have to head back to Arizona from SDSU to finish fundraising. It's something I knew was going to happen 3 weeks ago when I came to San Diego, but the stuff that's happened, the things I've seen, and the people I've spent time with make leaving infinitely harder than I ever thought it would be. Even if it is just temporarily.

I spent a lot of time yesterday frustrated for so may reasons. I was frustrated because I felt like I had let my team down by not being funded and leaving them short handed at a crucial time in the ministry. I was frustrated because I felt like in the little time I've been here I haven't been as effective as I wanted to be. I was frustrated because what little I had accomplished I felt like would be gone, lost in the shuffle of the weeks to come as I try and get back out to SDSU.

It just comes down to a lack of faith. Paul and Timothy once wrote to the Phillipians -

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

God will take care of it. His work never fades away, and He never takes a break. I wasn't trusting in the gracious God that allows and guides the sunrise and sunset every day. I wasn't asking enough of the generous God who once held the sun in the sky for an entire extra day at the request of one of his servants. And I wasn't thanking my God who had brought me this far, though He owed me nothing good and certainly nothing as incredible as what He's shown me these last 3 weeks. While I was wondering what it was that I had done wrong, the truth is, I can't do anything right without His help. "Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stay awake in Vain" (~Ps 127).

So now I go back to AZ, relying on God to complete his work in these guys I've met, to complete his work with my funding, and thanking Him for allowing me to witness the things He has shown me so far....But it's still hard.

In the Big Inning-

-Was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Though Him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In Him was life and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.

"The Light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it". Such an incredibly sad verse. A verse I saw played out over and over this week on campus talking to students about God. They just don't understand it. They don't understand their need for it, they don't care about the purpose of it, they don't see the amazingness of it.

We talked to one student in particular this week who just had absolutely no interest in anything spiritual. He wasn't opposed to religion, he felt pretty good about science, he didn't really feel it was necessary to figure out exactly how those fit together, he just didn't care. That's something we've been dealing with alot this first week of school. Apathy. Even students who have a Christian background when asked who God is, or What sets Christians apart usually give a very vague, watered-down answer.

It's in no way hopeless however. God has definitely been listening to the prayers for SDSU as the school year starts up. Even though we met a lot of students (especially men) who didn't care and weren't interested in Bible Study, God did bring us a few guys who seem genuinely interested. In fact a big prayer during this start up is that we would be able to reach some freshman guys. Typically freshman are still living in the dorms, so they can be a huge opportunity for ministry. Those first two days every single guy I talked to, save one, was a freshman.

Please continue to pray that God would send us some guys, and that we would have wisdom in ministering to the few he has allowed us thus far.